was it even true all along?

"And if it's not personal, what is it?

Only option left is business

Can I pay bills with it? (Can I pay bills with it?)

And tell me again how dumb you think I am"

— googly eyes - Personal

Was the friendship that I wanted to have with people you deemed cool even true?

I'm not sure, to be honest.

Maybe it's just my RSD speaking and nobody truly hates me, but it's hard to believe.

Who hates me? Who doesn't? Maybe someone who claims to not hate me actually does?

I'm way too sensitive to rejection. Being neurodivergent sucks, in a way, but it is what it is. You get abandoned, constantly self-sabotage and ruin your own life, question the intentions of people around you.

Do they care? Is it all real or...are they disgusted by the mere idea of you? Being friends with you?

If they care, is this person you or the one who wronged you? Are they a first-priority friend, and not you? If both of you fight, who would they defend?

If both of you fuck up equally, who gets the harsher callout?

If you're direct and they're not,

Who is valued more in your community?