oh, to be remembered for the tiniest things...

Have you ever heard any of your friends say something along the lines of "I remembered you saying / doing this a lot" and so on?

Have you ever received a song / picture / meme in DMs with a caption that said "this reminded me of you"?

Are you the one who your friends think about when they listen to that one song / band / artist you once put them on?

Honestly, hearing that I'm the one who my friends remember when they listen to certain artists or songs, hearing them remember my typical jokes and communication patterns...brings me immense amounts of joy. All because I wasn't really remembered by others in the past.

I was always on the giving end of things like that, I was the one who sent people those little "this song reminds me of you" messages, I was the one who cared the most about others.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm always curious. Curious if people talk about me when I'm not there, curious if they have a little nickname they use for me just among themselves based on one of my typical jokes...curious if they even think about me when I'm not right in front of them.

I wasn't really "seen" during my high school years - my mental health was at its lowest, and, honestly, I'm thankful for these moments of peace. But at the same time...

I wanted something real. I wanted there to be at least a few people who talk about me not as if I'm a fictional character that you speculate about, not as if I'm someone who isn't worthy of being in their circle and because of that I'm just the cringy guy who is brought up only for shits and giggles when you're bored and have nothing to talk about.

I wanted a friend who thinks about me even if we don't talk. Who sees me in a song, a random meme, a photo...fuck, even the stupidest, cringiest Instagram reel imaginable.

Imagine my happiness when you say that you remember a joke I constantly tell when I just want to show off my unserious self. When you talk about a band or artist that I like just as much as I do. When you casually mention the fact that I got you into their music.

I care. I think about it.

For days, weeks, months. Maybe even years.

I don't forget.

I talk about people I like because I care about them. I want them to feel seen, noticed.

And I also want to be one of those people that are constantly talked about.

I want to be "that one person who did this very cool thing" in your casual conversations. I want to be "the meme person". I want to know if you mentioned me to your friends, even if it was just a brief comparison to something or an attempt to connect with someone.

Even if it wasn't that big of a deal.