being a lesbian is...

Wanted to publish this earlier, but the urge to stay offline and take a break won, so I'm only doing it today.

So, Lesbian Visibility Week is coming to an end, and what does it mean? For me, it means that I can post a silly thinkpiece about lesbianism and what it actually means for me.

I remember talking about it with my friend a few months ago. I don't remember much from that conversation right now because of that pesky ADHD goldfish brain shit, but the point stuck with me: being a lesbian isn't just...the relationship part.

It's not just "omg I'm dating girls only". It's not making said discovery the only important aspect of your life.

You might ask: "But, Iva, what the fuck is being a lesbian if not just dating girls?"

Well.

For me, being a lesbian is loving all women. Not just your romantic partners.

It's loving your best friend so much, with all their quirks, that you smile every single time when even the tiniest thought related to them pops up in your head.

When your girl bestie posts another cute picture of herself on the internet and your first thought is to leave a bunch of little pink hearts in a single comment.

When your groupmate comes to the uni wearing that one enormous colorful hat that she likes and a single glance is enough to tell her that she absolutely stuns in that one.

It's writing stupid love poems about girls you'll never see again and crying while re-reading them for a bajillonth time because of how beautiful they are.

It's realizing how strongly our trans sisters love women...to fight for becoming one. And that we need to learn from them.

It's loving your best friend so much that a mere thought of her partner betraying her sends you into a state of fury so strong that you can barely contain it.

For me, it is exactly that.

The song attached to this post is some kind of a summary of what I feel right now, plus now I have a reason to spill.

So...

I did it.

I spilled the tea.

Sure, the definition is different for every other lesbian out there, but...for me, it's this. As a baby gay in 2020, before getting out of my TERF phase, I struggled to understand that and blindly accepted whatever shit was thrown at me by them.

Now? I think for myself.

I learn from those who actually have an experience of being in a healthy relationship with others...and themselves.

This current definition is what I personally live by.

And I hope...it finds someone who agrees with me.

Love you all. 🪷