Didn't think that getting over someone was that hard.

No, seriously. I thought it would be easier.

What do I feel right now, though? Is there at least a bit of progress?

I think there is progress. I'm done with forcing myself to be bitter about it, guiding myself to finally see the situation as it truly is, and dealing with the grief that comes with realization of the things you wanted to happen and planned everything out for never happening.

I know I'm not guilty at all, I know I'm not the bad guy here, but at the same time...I'm not really over it?

In a way that...thoughts about this person still take a toll on me, they still feel heavy on me.

And I want it to no longer be like that.

I want to be able to go about my day with these thoughts in my head signaling relief, something like "I'm happy you happened, but I'm happier you're gone"1

Instead...yeah. It's not stopping. Whoops...

meme illustrating two feelings in a form of poorly drawn creatures: recognizing patterns - a very happy blob that is full of joy, its hands up in the air, fists clenched; breaking them - a stick figure on all fours with its face looking like they're about to spontaneously combust, blood dripping down its jaw and eyes looking into different directions

Should I pay a local witch? Should I resort to witchcraft myself?

Only if it's safe, yes. The second option does seem more reliable, but...

Wait, okay, saving it for later.

I should try doing at least something, though, because this man doesn't deserve access to my energy anymore, not after what he's done to me.

Fake it 'til you make it? Not sure about that.

Regardless of what I decide to try, it's obvious that I don't want to feel like this. I want to get out of this misery, for fuck's sake.

I want to be able to listen to that very-different-from-what-I-usually-have-on-repeat band2 without remembering that he's the reason why I'm aware of their existence.

You don't get to ruin good things for me. Not even when you were the one who introduced me to them.

I mean, a former friend didn't ruin Blind Channel and Electric Callboy for me, so why should I let someone who didn't even reach that level do the same thing?

They didn't even want to reach that level, but the point still stands. Why shouldn't I enjoy good things only because I share the interest with someone who let me down? I have free will and I can do it. I can and I will.

Nobody gets to stop me, except for me. <3